Forensic Scientist

I don't know how they found out, but ever since I became unemployed I've been stalked by Forensic Scientists. They lurk in my Spam. Sometimes as many as five await there, like they know "Hey, she's unemployed and desperate she's going to check her spam to see if there is an answer to all her online resumes." They are correct. Daily I check the spam area of my e-mail, hoping that something was sent there accidentally. The minute I open it, there they are "Forensic Scientist wanted!" Sometimes as many as five e-mails. Who knew there was such a shortage of Forensic Scientists? Are bodies just piling up in morgues? Morticians standing there helpless, because the bodies have not been examined by their local Forensic Scientists. Turning to bereaved families and saying "I'm sorry, you'll have to postpone the burial. The Forensic Scientist hasn't arrived and for all we know you murdered your dearly departed."

In moments of unemployed panic I find myself eyeing those e-mails. I see myself in a white lab coat, with a deerstalker cap looking down at the body as a breathless assistant watches my superior deductive skills.

"Why its quite obvious! See the dent on his right middle finger? Obviously he was old school and used a number 2 pencil to work. Showing a mathematician of some renown, due to his expensive haircut. No, I'm quite sure this is not a case of brain fever, but of murder most foul!"

Then, I see myself: a large woman dressed in white, something I didn't even wear at my wedding. Standing before a cadaver with the unpleasant knowledge that I am to cut the poor person open. Quickly I hit the delete to send the Forensic Scientists into cyber space. I also note that I'm reading just a tad to much Sherlock Holmes.